The Hurt and the Healer

Today was a day like any other during the Summer of 2012.  As I traveled to my job, into Portland, listened to MercyMe's "The Hurt and the Healer" (which seems to play everyday about the same time on my favorite radio station).  I was thinking and praying for my sister's family and for our strained relationship.  In the middle of traffic, passing by cars, vans, Semi-trucks, merging into the right lane so I could make the on ramp for I-5 Northbound, I prayed for those who suffered recent loss that God would give them peace as only He can do.  Made it to work, helping to train an awesome young lady, when I receive a phone call from my cousin.  "My cousin?" " I better take this one" I say....She delivers the news...my brother in law had passed away, losing his long battle with cancer....she needed me to know before I would find out on facebook as many relatives were posting their "R.I.P's".   I am not ashamed to say that I was devastated, in shock I sat motionless, trying to hold it together, smile as I finished helping with a patient.  The same feeling that I had when I lost my dad, my stepson, my nephew, good friends and family came over me like a wave.  I  heard the same verse that I had JUST read in my one year Bible reading during my break...The very same verse that resonates through my head during all of my times loss...

Job 1:21“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

God had just prepared me for what I was about to, in a matter of minutes, experience.  "Why?"  I cried out on my way home.  "Lord please give my sister the strength to endure this..."   My sweet baby sister...and her son.  How much more can they handle?  Of course, I was grieving my loss, but so much more for her and her son and my mother, who also lives with them. 

It is so easy during these times to turn away from God for some people...Why would he let this happen?  When is enough, enough?  We have to remember that no tear we cry goes unnoticed by Him.  He IS there, going through it, right along with us, carrying us through.  I love my sister, and nephew and mother....BUT GOD loves them MORE! 

Sometimes we go through the darkness to find the Light.  Look at Mary, Martha and Lazarus...Lazarus was dying, Mary and Martha sent for Jesus to come and heal him.  Jesus finally got there when Lazarus had been dead for three days.  Where was He when they needed him the most??  Then... after He mourns (Jesus wept)  he performs a miracle!  He raised Lazarus from the dead! He knew what he was doing then.  He knows what He is doing now.

As I stated before, my sister and I have a strained relationship.  I believe that God will do his miracle there.  I have tried everything in my human power to mend the relationship only speaking words of love to her. In her world, a world of sickness, pain and inevitable death as she has been caregiver for both her husband, son, and our mother...she is simply overwhelmed and I am the target.  I get that.  I love her anyway...if there is no reconciliation, I have to accept it and move forward. 

I was reading this evening about Abraham and his calling and faith and even though he made mistakes along the way, God still used him and called him friend.  He had him leave his country, his family and follow Him.  Fast forward to New Testament times.  Matthew 10:34-39

³⁴ “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. ³⁵ For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father,     a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law —³⁶ a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’^[c]

³⁷ “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. ³⁸ Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. ³⁹ Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

I believe what Jesus is saying is  "If you actually follow me, your family may not agree with you, and if that happens, you'll have to choose between following me even if it displeases them (which could cause division) or compromising your obedience to me in order to please your family. I need to be first in your life."

So as I go, praying for a miracle, I know, in faith that I will be okay, that they will be okay, it all comes down to Jesus...and trusting the Healer with the Hurt.